Ritual
“Recent research suggests that rituals may be more rational than they appear. Why? Because even simple rituals can be extremely effective. Rituals performed after experiencing losses – from loved ones to lotteries – do alleviate grief, and rituals performed before high-pressure tasks – like singing in public – do in fact reduce anxiety and increase people’s confidence. What’s more, rituals appear to benefit even people who claim not to believe that rituals work.”
-Francesca Gino & Michael I. Norton, 2013
I have been holding space for groups for over 15 years, and what has become clear to me is that as humans we are hungry for ritual.
What is a ritual? A "ritual" is a symbolic action or sequence of behaviors, often with a prescribed form, even if that form is created from scratch, that holds deep cultural meaning and is performed in a specific context to mark significant thresholds in life. Rituals point to a sense of sacredness beyond the chop-wood-carry-water of our everyday life, and most often contain symbolic elements that help us to call up a sense of the numinous, thus connecting us to a largeness that is beyond our individual sense of self, uniting us not only with each other but with spirit. In brief, rituals help us to make meaning of our lives even, and especially, when things feel scary and overwhelming. And there is plenty of research to suggest the soothing quality ritual has on us.
As a space holder I am honored to be able to officiate commitment ceremonies between partners whether you would like the government involved or not.
Commitment rituals will include several pre-ceremony meetings, as we will create a unique ritual that expresses the life-giving quality of your particular relationship(s).
Grief rituals are created on an individual basis and can include one or more people depending on the need to be met.
It may be as simple as using the elements of fire, water, earth, and space to help transform and translate your grief. Or, even walking into the woods and burying something together and saying a prayer. This will require individual meetings prior to the ritual being performed.
A note here on disenfranchised grief.
Many times we as humans believe that our loss is not enough to be honored. We think that someone else has lost more, so why would I need a ritual to help me process and be with the big feelings that are here? I would encourage you to give yourself the gift of a ritual process no matter how large or small the loss. Grief is grief, and we know as humans how to let it move through us if we let it.